Four years in the making, and my artwork is still not complete.
My dad, a man of great talent, once told me: “Artists can never call their work finished.”
Leonardo da Vinci, whose Vitruvian Man inspired me to paint my self-portrait, said: “Art is never finished, only abandoned.”
The perfectionist in me keeps focusing on the small details, always seeing the improvements that could be made. But lately, a quiet part of me, eager to be heard, is accepting these imperfections and ready to share my art with the world—along with the personal transformation it represents. Perhaps it’s because this year marks my final year in my 30s; maybe that’s why I’m feeling more compelled than ever to let go and embrace the beauty of what is, rather than striving for unattainable perfection.
Symbolism runs throughout the entire picture, capturing the profound inner transformation I’ve undergone over the last decade.
The inspiration to paint this self-portrait came in 2020, and I deliberately chose to work on it only when visiting my family in Poland. This allowed me not to rush the process, but to give myself space between sessions to reflect on my growth journey.
A significant part of this journey has been about self-acceptance, and that’s what I want to share today.
Ever since I turned 28, I’ve been questioning my existence and its purpose. When I turned 30, I told my dad that I didn’t believe I had any talents to share with the world and couldn’t understand why I hadn’t inherited his artistic skills. He’s a great painter—a talent I’ve always admired, though I never had the patience to develop myself.
So what changed? What did I accept about myself that allowed me to start painting at 33?
Here are the 8 things that come to mind:
1. Making peace with who I am allowed me to see my imperfections for what they are. I am a work of art, and art isn’t meant to be compared; each piece is unique.
2. Creating free-flowing space for myself was the most important lesson of my 30s. Every journey begins with a first step, but even before taking that step, I needed to create the right conditions to figure out where I was going.
3. Always focus on the solution. There are many ways to reach a goal, and finding my own way unlocked the potential within me.
4. Embracing my fears with love and compassion helped me better understand them. Fears are just protective mechanisms, naturally triggered when we step into the unknown.
5. Proving myself wrong worked miracles—it helped dissolve the stubbornness of my ego.
6. Even the most ridiculous lie becomes the truth when you believe it. Challenge your beliefs often, and you’ll find that your perspective on what’s possible in life will shift.
7. I have more control over what I accept. Resisting reality doesn’t change it, yet accepting it allows for growth to occur.
8. Shifting my mindset to “I am limitless” made me realise I have the power to change anything I want. But that change only began once I accepted myself as I was.
My journey to change began by exploring the part of myself I had resisted the most. What happened when I accepted her? Through painting, I began expressing myself more creatively than I ever had through words. I allowed myself to fail. I asked for help when I got stuck. Bit by bit, I moved forward and discovered there was more to me than I had ever imagined. Beneath it all, I found courage, and it started showing up in every area of my life.
So, what’s the paradox of change? It lies in the resistance to accepting reality as it is. Fritz Perls, a father of Gestalt theory, summed it up beautifully: “Change occurs when one becomes what he is, not when he tries to become what he is not” (Beisser, 1970, p.77). In other words, we don’t change by striving to be someone else, but by fully embracing who we are now. By accepting ourselves, with all our polarities, we create the conditions for meaningful and orderly change.
The key to self-acceptance is organic learning, which happens when we fully engage with our present experience. And what’s the key to this learning? Awareness. Awareness of self, of the present moment, of our body, mind, environment, and the people around us. Most of our behaviours and responses happen unconsciously. The best way to change our unconscious programming is through awareness. You can only change what you are aware of—it’s that simple.
In summary, as I awakened to a new truth about myself and accepted it, I gradually became it. That transformation happened from the inside out. My painting is proof that the assumption I held about my lack of artistic talent was untrue. This realisation has given me the courage to ask: What else isn’t true?
I encourage you to test this for yourself. 🔥
✨ Are you ready to challenge the assumptions you’ve been holding about yourself? ✨
If my journey resonates with you and you’re feeling stuck or unsure about your next steps, I’d love to help guide you through your own transformation. As a life coach, I’m here to support you in embracing who you truly are and creating the life you deserve.
Let’s work together. Reach out to me today for a free discovery session, and let’s start your journey toward self-acceptance and growth! 🌟
Comments